This morning as I was peeling an orange for breakfast, as I smelled the fresh flesh of the fruit, the scent gave me an immediate—and curious—association to Christmas.

As I thought about it later I thought that perhaps it was more like Christmas Eve and the preparation for the Swedish  feast that always includes lingonberries, limpa bread, and always, always—glögg.

A friend (I’ll call her “Bridgid”) recently told me of an experience she had in receiving forgiveness. A long ago hurt with her friend had caused a rift between the two BFFs. Bridgid had tried and tried to mend the broken bond but her friend’s message was clear: you hurt me and therefore I’m not going to forgive you.

As painful as it was for Bridgid she, after much reflection, decided that the best thing she could do was to love her friend even though it may never make a difference. So when she thought of her friend she said a prayer for her or thought kind thoughts of her. She enjoyed wearing a piece of jewelry that her friend made for her because it made her feel her presence.

One day this summer she received a call from her friend asking her to please forgive her once BFF for hurting her.

Somewhere along the way her friend discovered that it wasn’t what Bridgid had done—it was something she couldn’t do—something that paralyzed her from forgiving Bridgid.

Bridgid told me that when the unexpected forgiveness came it was like Christmas morning. That unexpected gift under the tree that is given by someone that simply knows you so completely. It is that perfect gift that isn’t big or bright or expensive but it is the gift given with so much love that it makes you tear up as soon as the paper is off the box.

My young philosopher friend, Rowan (age 8) wrote a poem this summer that tells the story of forgiveness in a way that I’ve never heard an adult sum it up.

think about your enemy…the fear in their past…rise above

The thing I love about gardening—ok, well one of the main things I love about gardening—is that it is a forgiving art.

When friends ask for a plant from my garden and want to transplant it in their garden they sometimes ask if it is the right season for transplanting. It’s always time to transplant if it is convenient for you, I tell them.

I know that my master gardener friends may not agree with this (and I’m sure that is for good reason) but my experience tells me that plants thrive when they are cared for and loved into good health. They’re forgiving by nature as long as they’re properly taken care of.

So today, when I thought of Christmas morning, it brought me to my friend’s story and the real joy of forgiveness. My friend received two Christmas gifts; the gift of long ago forgiving her friend when her friend was not able to yet forgive her—and the gift of Christmas morning when she was finally fully forgiven.